1. |
If It Was a Lie
05:31
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If I could change the truth
could erase every memory of you
I'd escape how I feel
and we'd never know that what we lost was real
I want to believe it's a lie
all the things you said
all the time we spent
letting our hearts bleed out
Because if it was a lie
I could just move on
like nothing's wrong
I could take the easiest route
If it was a lie
I wouldn't ask how and I wouldn't ask why
And if it was all only a game
I'd finally, finally have someone to blame
If it was a lie
I wouldn't be trying to put up a fight
And if it was all only a game
I would've already forgotten your name
But it's just no use hoping for a life we're both wanting
but know deep within we'll never possess
And so we go on coping even though it seems daunting
We both decided that it's for the best
So here's the truth
That sidewalk flower somehow gained strength and grew
And it wasn't the plan to fall deeper still
But that is what happens when everything's real
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2. |
Leaving Home
05:55
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Upon departure I assumed
that everything would greatly alter
Thought the memory of what I left
would cease to be so close at hand
So I packed up everything I owned
with my mind set to start all over
But I didn't think reality
would differ so much from my plans
Expectations never seem
To be a good gauge of what will be
I traded in a grain of sand
for a drop of rain but they didn't understand
I drove twenty hours north
couldn't stay knowing there would never be more
I got away just in time
I was spared as day turned into night
It all began so innocent
late night talking between the best of friends
I didn't know there was a chance
that all this water had turned into cement
And though we won't ever be the same
I'm thankful for the time we had
and the lessons we both gained
And though we've gone down our separate ways
I'm thankful for the fire
and I'm thankful for the pain
Expectations never seem
to be a good gauge of what will be
I traded in a grain of sand
for a drop of rain but they didn't understand
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3. |
Blur
05:22
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I ask what you want from me
and you respond with just one word
I can't ignore the voice that speaks to me
the one that's asking me to serve
I watch the people as they pass me by
I see the need the greed and the vacant eyes
the hurried blur of this burdened world is so alive
my heart is breaking at the sight
And there are clocks in my eyes
Ticking, talking, telling lies
trying so hard to keep me blind
but I'm not fooled by their disguise
This world is seeking what can never last
stressing about the future and mourning the past
Gripped by worry and governed by sloth
We want to be somewhere else and to be what we're not
Until we grasp the gift up grace
We'll always live in an endless chase
And so we try to find eternal fruit
But we will never reach the root
And there are clocks in my eyes
Ticking, talking, telling lies
trying so hard to keep me blind
but I'm not fooled by their disguise
I ask what you want from me
and you respond with just one word
I can't ignore the voice that speaks to me
the one that's asking me to serve
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4. |
Demon
07:18
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It visits him when he sleeps at night
Trying to take hold of his mind
It locks him in and he cannot find the key
And he wonders what it means to be free
There's a demon chasing him
It's practically on his heels
A knife in its hand, ready to strike
And it's desperate to know how victory feels
Breathless but unable to rest
He continues to run through the ache
So far he's kept safe from that eager grasp
But the strength of his soul is beginning to break
Even with a map in his hands
He can't seem to find direction
He longs for someone who understands
But he can't bear to hear their correction
He wants to possess knowledge of the truth
So he continues to seek
And he's so scared of never finding proof
To support what he already believes
Lost and confused yet unresigned
To give in to the lie of depression
He struggles to draw closer to the light
Hoping it will answer all his questions
He claims that it has a hold on him
And yet he's the one who can't let go
He knows his flaws, he knows the cause
But he doesn't say yes and he doesn't say no
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5. |
Black and White
06:20
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Separation seems so easy
When it's just a word upon your lips
But it's so much harder than you expected
And you find yourself constantly missing him
How am I supposed to let you go,
When every thought that passes through my brain bears you name?
I thought the distance would solve it all
But I am finding I still feel the same
I still feel the same
Snowflakes are falling
The night sky is enthralling
Time is just inching along
Over him the sun is shining
Could this simply be bad timing
Or will it always be wrong?
I don't need a lot of show
I only need to know
That you will never let go
All I need with you is time
Just sitting next to you in the quiet
While we read each other's minds
What am I to do now?
I'm beginning to break
It's no longer why
But how
Do I stay afloat, stay awake?
I know you must be scared
And just so unprepared
The weight of my heart is more than you can bear
So hear me when I say
Can't believe in all this gray
There's so much black and white and it won't go away
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Janelle Burris California
Storywriter Songteller.
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